Sometimes in writing, I have days where I feel like the story just isn't working they way I'd hoped. There are sentences, which feel unnatural, or paragraphs contributing nothing to the forward advancement of the plot of the book, or series as a whole. But sometimes, I have days where I feel like I'm doing something right.
Today was one of the those days.
I worked on Chapter 11 in BOOK TWO. I had a brief plan as to how I was going to tackle this chapter, but it evolved into something truly magical when I was done. Looking back over it tonight, it wasn't the words themselves, which proved I was doing something right, but rather the emotions connected to those words.
At times during the writing of this chapter, I found myself welling up, and other times the tears prevented me from seeing the words as I typed them. Alas, I completed the chapter, and it was an emotional journey with one of my characters. Even though he thought he was taking that journey alone, I was by his side the entire time.
Somewhere between the tears and the tissues, I feel like I have done something remarkable. If my readers care half as much as I do about my characters then I think I'll have done my job. For now, I must suffer through this tragedy of my own creation alone. I might be the only one who knows a life has been lost. It makes me feel so alone, and yet, so terribly close to my characters. They will mourn the loss of their friend as I mourn the loss of my character. There is something about this experience, which has brought me closer to the people who exist within my mind. And through my own sadness, I crave their support.
To the one I cannot name, you know who you are. You will be missed, and loved, and mourned.