In the Bubble

I can't believe it's taken me so long to write about my time in the "bubble." At the start of January, I began my first residency of graduate school. I traveled through Hercules to New Hampshire's White Mountains and stayed at the Mountain View Grand Resort! The whole experience was wonderful and beautiful and dream-like. I was only gone five days but they were a great way to start off this new year!

I must admit, I was rather nervous to begin, but once there, I found I had nothing to worry about. The low-residency MFA program, which SNHU has created, is more like a community and family of writers than anything else. I felt the love and support of like-minded people the entire time I was gone. I met some really amazing people, took great workshops, and received a wonderful mentor for the next semester. I can't even believe such a magnificent program exists, and that I get to be part of it. For the next few months I will be reworking BOOK ONE of the Falling series to use as my thesis project, reading ten brilliant YA novels, and writing some craft essays, which will help me become the writer I always wanted to be.

I am so thankful to this MFA family for accepting me and astounding me with their feedback, their passion, and most of all: their writing. To be surrounded by so many gifted writers and to hear their beautiful words is something I've always dreamed of finding. I think as writers we all just want to share our words and our stories, and my time in the MFA bubble has given me the opportunity to do just that with people who understand the triumphs and the trials of writing. 

I can't wait to return to the MVG this June, to see all my friends and fellow writers, and to be inspired and encouraged for seven glorious days. Until then, I suppose I'll just have to keep writing.

The Most Memorable Books of 2013

Below are the thirteen most memorable books I read in 2013, in no particular order of course. There are still many more on my to read list but I guess those will just have to wait until 2014!

1. )Allegiant by Veronica Roth 

Though I have traveled with the characters of this series since it first came out, I'm not sure I could be any more devastated to finish this book. I, however, didn't love this book the way I'd hoped. And not for the reasons you might think. There were moments, which seemed to negate everything Roth worked so hard to build in her other two books. If you're looking for a book to make you feel brave or simply a world to get wrapped up in, I do suggest this series. Even though this is the final book in the trilogy, this doesn't mean Roth is done. Stay tuned for Four , her collection of short stories coming out in 2014, and the Divergent movie making it's big screen debut March 2014! 

2.) The Giver by Lois Lowry 

This is one of my favorite books of all time. Have you ever been asked what your favorite book is and had a difficult time answering? It seems like the typical college question, which I've encountered, and I always start thinking of my top five. Because my favorite is always changing, but the list of absolute favorites usually stays the same. And this is one of the books from that list. So why am I reviewing it under the 2013 books? Well, I reread it again this year, and fell in love with it all over again! Each time I read this book, I take away something new. I remember the first time I read this in eighth grade, thinking it was such a simple story, and yet, it is probably one of the most complicated books I've ever read. If you found your way to this book yet, you need to just that! And if you have, well I'm sure you know what I mean when I say it's amazing. Though this is an older book, they are making it into a film in the future with Jeff Bridges playing the Giver. I guess, until then, I'll just have to keep reminding myself that the book is always better so as not to be too disappointed when I actually see the movie.

3.) The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

I don't think I can properly assess this book just yet seeing as I'm not quite finished with it. But there's still a few more days in 2013 so it will happen. This is the third book by Gaiman that I've read this year and I've been just as pleased. In fact, I had one of those weird, geeky, my mind has just been blown moments while reading this book. There is a moment when Bod, the protagonist, meets the spirit of a witch named Liza Hempstock, which, if I'd read this first probably would have meant nothing. But because I read The Ocean At The End Of The Lane earlier this summer, I noticed the last name. You see, invisible reader, Gaiman's newest adult novel which debuted this summer is based around a group of witches named Hempstock. So you can see why my mind just couldn't take that connection. It made me start thinking about all of these irrational things about lineage and future stories and endless questions that really had nothing to do with my current reading of The Graveyard Book. Needless to say, I'm taking my time with this one. There is so much to find between these pages, which teaches you about life and love and imagination. It is worth your time to read!

4.) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling 

What can I say about what might be my favorite book series of all time? Certainly, if I don't say this is my favorite book, then I can say Jo Rowling is my favorite author. She gave me a childhood filled with magic and imagination and words and stories; she is the reason I still love words today. But as for this little boy with glasses and a lightning bolt scar, I just want to say thank you. This book and this series taught me about the importance of friendship and love and Harry Potter has been my best friend since third grade, and still is today. So why did this make the most memorable books of 2013? Well, invisible reader, I read this book every year during the holiday season, and every year it makes me feel like a kid again. Thus, I'm more able to enjoy the magic and innocence of Christmas. During this time of year it is easy to get lost in wrapping paper and shopping and the stress that always follows, but Harry always seems to make this season a little less stressful and for that, I'm always thankful.

5.) The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen 

Though this book ended much too soon, I absolutely fell in love! It was one of those books that I bought on a whim, which then sat on my shelf for far too long, and then completely consumed my life while I was reading it. Filled with magic, heartache, love, and loss, this book is one that is truly special to me. For anyone looking for a beautiful world to fall into, I would recommend this 110%. I look forward to reading more books by Allen and to falling madly in love all over again with her characters! There is something really special about an author and a story that can create magic like Allen and The Girl Who Chased The Moon. I can't wait to read this again in 2014!

6.) The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman 

As previously mentioned, I loved this book! Gaiman is the master of creating haunting stories, which stay with you long after the book is finished. The Hempstock ladies in this book gave a great example of female power and the importance of family. I've recommended this book to so many of my friends now that I've started to lose count. It's just that good. This book taught me that magic and whimsy combined with darkness is just like real life, and that it's okay to use both when writing. In fact, it's more than okay, it's necessary! If you're craving a good scare or just a fantastical world to escape to, read Gaiman's newest book!

7.) Oh the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss

For the longest time, I'd never really read this entire book. It may seem childish, but I promise Dr. Seuss writes about some pretty life-changing things in this short book. And this year, between graduating and getting into graduate school, I think I needed to read this book. I bought this for my sister this summer as a high school graduation present, but ended up reading it three or four times before I gave it to her. Sometimes we don't need thick tomes about life to help us see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, all we need are a few rhyming words, some colorful pictures, and a guarantee that even when we can't see it, we'll be going places soon!

8.) No One is Here Except All of Us by Ramona Ausubel 

I borrowed this from the best friend, not really knowing what it was about. I started it the same way. But by the time I was done, I realized this was more than just a book. It was a testimony to the importance of words and stories and how they can carry us through even the worst moments of life. The book begins with a character who tells us about her story, but ends with a character who has had to change her story just to survive. It was beautiful and magical and devastating. If I had the chance to reread this, I would. In fact, I loved this book so much that I gave it to one of my own characters to read. And though that sounds crazy, it's not. I love the fact that this cover is not covered in disingenuous promises of greatness. It never boasts that it is wonderful and mesmerizing. It waits until you are waist deep in its words to whisper about how amazing it really is. If you are looking for a fantastic piece of fiction, this is one of them! I'm sure you've noticed that most of the books on this list are young adult fiction because the majority of the books I read are YA. But this book was so good I didn't even notice it wasn't YA.

9.) Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott 

I read this book to do a book "report" for my Writing for the Professions class and ended up loving it more than I thought I would. I've read quite a few books about writing. While those books have been informative, none were nearly as enjoyable as this one. The great thing about this book is that it doesn't simply profess all the things a writer should do. It gives wonderful anecdotes mixed with sage writing advice. And Lamott never says you should take her advice. She just puts it out there for you to take for yourself. There are several techniques I've used from this book that have worked quite well for my daily writing routine, and then there are others which didn't work for me. But that's the amazing thing about writing! It's a unique experience for everyone. So for any of you that are writers out there I recommend the book. And for those of you who aren't writers, this book is great regardless.

10.) Requiem by Lauren Oliver 

I am so sad that I had to give this three stars on Goodreads ( and even that's generous). But I promise it was necessary. The first book in this series, Delirium, was amazing. The second book, Pandemonium, wasn't spectacular but second books rarely are. But most often, the third book in a series is mesmerizing and beautiful and ties up all its loose ends. This, however, was nothing of the sort. I'm not sure if any of you have seen Silver Linings Playbook, specifically the scene where Bradley Cooper throws his book out the window. But that was the same reaction I had to the end of this book. Only I didn't throw it out the window. Instead I woke up the sleeping members of my family on our way home from Myrtle Beach. Though I wouldn't necessarily say you shouldn't read this series, I would caution you to begin the last book with care. It will most likely disappoint you. But for me, it gave an example of what not to do when I finish my series. So even though the end of this book was not amazing, it taught me that endings are just as important as beginnings.

11.) Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares 

Unlike Requiem, Sisterhood Everlasting was a great end to a beloved series. Though this book brought back some of my favorite characters, they were older, and so much had happened since I finished reading Forever in Blue (Book Four). This book was filled with an inescapable sadness, which left me weeping into the wee hours of morning. But that's life I suppose. And though these characters are flawed, they are more real to me than most people I know. If you haven't read The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants series yet, you should. And if you're scared to read the adult versions of your favorite characters you should be. But sometimes, even when we're most scared, life offers us the best experiences. This book was one of those great experiences.

12.) Crash by Lisa McMann 

I read this book pretty early into 2013, and can't wait to read the sequel, Bang, as soon as I have time. Plain and simple, this was a fun read. Lisa McMann is at her best when writing these supernatural books (I fell in love with her Wake series years before) with characters who are flawed, and often don't see themselves as special despite having unusual gifts. And yet, McMann creates characters for readers to care about. I read this book in one sitting, glued to the edge of my seat, and flipping furiously from page to page. If you're looking for a great, suspenseful read, look no further. As the first McMann book I've read since the Wake series finished, I was impressed!

13.) Smoke by Ellen Hopkins 

I have been waiting for this book since I finished it's companion in high school. And I must say, just like Burned, this did not disappoint. Ellen Hopkins has a way of writing about life, which feels real and gritty and flawed and beautiful, all while fitting into the constraints of poetic prose. The book brought me back to my first journey with Pattyn and I felt just as enthralled by this experience as the first time around. I don't think I could have asked for a better way to wrap up a story I have been thinking about for the past several years. Well done, Ellen Hopkins! Well done!

This concludes my reviews of the thirteen most memorable books from 2013! I hope you have found some great new books to discover. I hope you've looked back at the most memorable books you read this year. And if you're not a reader, I hope this post has made you interested in reading. It's truly one of the greatest things life has to offer. I firmly believe it only takes one book to make people life-long readers. And who knows, maybe one of those books is listed here for you!

Positive Thinking

Sometimes all it takes to make things happen is a little positive thinking! After tackling all the items on my list today, I was feeling like I needed to make a plan for my writing for the next two months. Here's the plan:

December--I would like to finish edits on BOOK ONE! I also plan on finishing the last five chapters of BOOK TWO before the New Year. I'm not sure if it's going to happen, but I'm going to try!

January--I plan on doing two read-throughs of BOOK TWO before I start revising. I've spaced the two read-throughs a few weeks apart so I can leave a little time to let everything simmer.

Also during the month of January, I'll be in New Hampshire for my graduate school residency, and other days will be reading days. I think as writers, it is important that we still read. And for myself, I know I need to read, because I love words and paper and ink and falling into the pages of a story.

Looking at what I've planned for the next few months makes me see how much work I still have to do in these books. But it also shows just how far I've come as a writer! Even if I don't meet these deadlines each day, I'm not going to stress. Life happens, and it's these great moments in life, which help me the most as a writer. I can't just ignore them. Lately, however, I've had a difficult time getting everything done. But with my undergrad completed, I feel like I finally have the time to devote to my book and I couldn't be happier!

There are days when it feels like the chapters will never be finished, and that maybe,  no one will ever want to read this book. But then there are days like today, when I know without a doubt that this book is going to be published. I suppose, sometimes, we need to listen to ourselves, and maybe J.M. Barrie, who said:  

"The moment you doubt you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it." 

I don't want to lose my ability to fly, or to write, or to dream. And I think, sometimes, all we need is faith and trust and pixie dust, or so says Peter Pan. Regardless, I'm going to wake up every day and tell myself that I will get published. And then I'm going to have a cup of coffee, sit down, and write.

To Step Foward

Yesterday, I had my last official class at Buffalo State College, and I must admit, leading up to that final class, I couldn't wait to be done! In fact, I just wanted the semester to end as quickly as possible. When I got to school, it had that weird finals week vibe where there is hardly anyone on campus, and those who are seem too preoccupied with finals to even act like human beings. Those of us who have had to endure finals week understand the kind of feral beast, which starts to emerge when papers pile up and final exams erupt left and right. But this semester, I didn't feel any of that. I was just excited to be done.

I was thrilled when the clock hit 3:30 so I could leave Rockwell Hall, and leave behind my undergrad. Even packing up my bag for the final time felt like no big deal. It was't until I was out in the hall standing with my new fall friends, talking about next semester that I realized what was happening. Someone said, see you later, and I said, I'm graduating. And this sentence felt so weird in my mouth, and then everyone was hugging me, and congratulating me, and I realized I might never see these people again. Now of course we can talk on Facebook, but that doesn't mean we will, and I knew there was something so different about this last day and my last day of high school, but I couldn't figure it out. In fact, it took me until now to discover that difference.

You see, in high school, I'd known people most my life. They saw me go through my awkward phase, and they know every embarrassing thing that'd ever happened. But in college, my peers were people who loved the same things, who accepted the fact that I loved Harry Potter and books and words. To them, I was just a writer, not that weird person who writes. And I knew I would be leaving that behind. I would be leaving those people, but also leaving behind a piece of myself. I changed so much in college, and I knew I would be leaving the pieces of that changed person behind. I knew it as soon as I read the quote below:

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, like you'll not only mis the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way again."-Azar nafisi

My freshman year of college, I was insecure, afraid to make friends, and unsure of the future. For too long, I'd hid behind books and good grades.

But now, I'm confident in my writing, knowing my words make me unique. My stories are worth telling. I'm not afraid of meeting people and making friends, because I've learned how great people can really be. Of course, I will always have the best friend from high school. He will always have my past and my future, but my college friends have a part of me that I will always cherish.

I'm still unsure of the future, but not in the same way. I'm not scared of it anymore. I just know it will take me where it wants, and I'm okay with that. I still love books, and I still get good grades, but I don't use them to hide.

Next month, I will be starting graduate school, and while I'm somewhat nervous, I know I'm ready. I can't wait to sit down and actually read, to write without the constant homework and papers and tests hanging over my head.

I'm ready to be a writer.

Because that's what I've always been, even when I didn't know it. In college, I was able to find my voice as a writer. I wrote a book and have almost finished the second one and I've written papers and poems and a plethora of short stories. In college, I was able to really call myself a writer, to accept that my words were important; they will always be important.

So now that I'm officially done, I realize how much I've changed, and I couldn't be happier nor, more excited for the future. But I know I will never be this person again. Things will change a second from now and a day from now, a month and a year from now, and I just hope I remember this person I am, because I think she's pretty great! I hope I remember how this little story started and how it's grown while I work toward getting published because I really want to share it with you, invisible reader. And I hope someday I can meet you and talk to you about books and the future and words and even what it's like to graduate.

The Process of Revision

For the past three months, I have been revising and editing BOOK ONE with the two  amazing peers in room 309 of Ketchum Hall. Our time together is almost done, and so, too, are the changes I've made. Before this whole process, I thought my book was finished, but this experience has taught me the benefits of a writer community when it comes to both revision and editing.

You see, invisible reader, sometimes being a writer is solitary. Sometimes it's lonely, and somewhat painful. But it's also wonderful and exhilarating and rewarding and filled with   characters created from the writer's own imagination! But getting to work and revise with fellow writers is something, which makes this whole process of bettering a manuscript more enjoyable.

I'm sure you've noticed that updates about the progress of BOOK TWO have somewhat stalled for the last few months. But fear not. I haven't given up on this sequel! On the contrary, I've learned that trying to work on revisions for one book while writing the next installment at the same time is just too much.

So what's to come in this new year?

To begin, I will attend my first winter residency of graduate school where I will be able to share this book with another writing community, and hopefully I will be able to make this book the best it can be!

I think it's true when people say you shouldn't rush your first book. It needs time to be revised again and again and again. That's just part of the life of a writer. But even amidst these revisions, the future is bright and exiting! All that's left is to tell myself there is something divine found in the act of this process, and that no matter what, I have a story I believe in. After all, at the end of the day, that's the best a writer can hope for. 

Oh, The Places I'll Go

After much debate, I've decided I needed to share my exciting news here since it is very much wrapped up in the future of my book. I recently received my acceptance letter to the MFA Fiction program through Southern New Hampshire University!

I will begin my first residency in New Hampshire this coming January, and I can't wait to continue my journey as a writer, and maybe share that experience here!

This program caters to the development and publication of a writer's first manuscript, and I know taking the Falling series to the mountains of New Hampshire will take me to the life I've always imagined; I'm on my way to a place, which will help lead me toward my dream of publication. 

I can't wait to share my book with other writers and people in the literary world. I think as writers we continue to create work so that others can read our words and stories, our thoughts and ideas. And knowing there will be a place of like-minded people has this acceptance feeling even better! 

Help From a Little Genius

The following is the result of my discussion with my little genius. As previously mentioned, I am a visual learner, and as such, I figured it was about time to break in the new house and fill both of my closets with pictures and post-its. They are, after all, the perfect thing to get those creative juices flowing.

Why on the inside of the closet? Well for starters I don't even have room for a desk, and second, my senior year of high school, I took AP Ceramics where I had a cupboard all to myself to store my projects, and I covered the inside with pictures, which inspired me. For some reason, I was thinking about that yesterday, and it seemed a good idea to try here.

The smaller closet door is covered in pictures from my trip to England back in 2010, including the Bridge of Sighs in Oxford, which I've been thinking about a great deal as of late (fun fact: it's pictured above!). I like the idea of bridges, and hope looking at this bridge every day will help me cross into more creativity. Among other things that happened yesterday, I also changed the course of the last five chapters of BOOK TWO, because I saw a great scene in my head while in the shower, which is where I usually get the best ideas. But I digress. I chose pictures from England because they are both beautiful, and they remind me of a time when I felt brave, and free, and inspired; all things needed to write.

The larger closet door has the origin story behind this series, as well as maps, and the entire timeline from start to finish with dates and events spanning the frame of the door. Every time I open one of these doors it reminds me how much I love this series, how obsessed I am with creating this world, and how much I love writing. I think those are pretty great things to be reminded of every day.

Hopefully this will inspire me. And maybe this is just the motivation I need to finish BOOK TWO, and complete revisions for BOOK ONE. I guess it's true that a writer's work is never finished, because even when I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing. This series is on my mind 24/7, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Eat. Pray. Write.

Yesterday I found myself unexpectedly out of my Literary Publishing class, and I watched Elizabeth Gilbert's Ted Talk. The wonderful author of Eat, Pray, Love, discussed writing, and instead of calling herself a genius, she talked about how we, as writers, can talk to an entity outside of ourselves, a little genius who shows up to help us write those words, which we may have a hard time writing.

The way she explained it, in order to stay sane, one must talk to their outer "Dobby," and ask for help. After watching this video, that is exactly what I did. I talked to Dobby, and asked for help. 30 minutes later, in the shower, I got a rush of ideas. I'm not sure whether or not I cleared my mind enough that way, or if a little genius heard my plea, and was sending great ideas my way. Ancient civilizations didn't think it was so crazy, and neither does Elizabeth Gilbert. So I think I'm just going to thank my "Dobby", my little genius, and ask for help more often.

Conquering Writer's Block

Finally conquering what seems like the longest bout of writer's block has brought me here. I finished the long-awaited Chapter 22, a chapter I have been waiting to write since I got the idea almost two years ago. With this chapter done, I only have five more, plus the Epilogue before BOOK TWO in this series is completed. Notice I said completed and not finished. There will still be many rounds of revisions and edits before BOOK TWO is actually done. But for now, I'm thrilled that I finally finished this chapter!

How did I do it?

Well I stopped over thinking the chapter and the process of writing a chapter. I just sat down, and worked. I wrote word by word without thinking about how it was all going to come together. And almost miraculously, it did come together. I found this really great spot on the Buffalo State College campus and wrote any chance I got and a week later, the chapter was done!

Between finding this place beneath almost-autumnal leaves, and listening nonstop to The Civil Wars, I worked through whatever subconscious roadblock was keeping me from continuing down this road to the end of BOOK TWO. I think writer's block is as simple as tearing down the walls that you, yourself have built in order to keep moving forward. It's as simple as figuring out what tools help you. Tear down those walls. Work on those words. And write.

I mean that's how this whole thing started. It started because I loved to write, because I felt compelled to write this story. And now, all these years and drafts and characters later, I feel like I need to remember how it all started so I can keep heading towards the next part of my journey.

After all, if we're not moving forward, we're stuck. Because we can't go back, and I'm not sure I would want to go back; to the beginning, to a time when no one knew I was writing these books. Because I would lose these people who have given me more support than I ever dreamed. And it is through them that I find the courage to keep working on this series.

These books started for me, and they will end with me. But along the way, I hope to share this with the world, word by word, chapter by chapter, and book by book.

Writer's Block

I didn't think I would ever have to utter those two horrible words here, but it seems I am suffering through a bout of writer's block. It's almost as painful to write those words as it is to think about them. I'm sure many of you disagree with this ailment considering I am writing these words here, which must mean I'm fine, right?

But alas dear, invisible reader, it seems I have been able to write everything else as of late with the exception of Chapter 22 in BOOK TWO. I'm not sure why I am struggling so much.

You see, this chapter should be the easiest thing in the world for me to write. I have been waiting to write this scene since I planned it out a year and a half ago, but now that it's here I can't get past this big blank wall that seems to be standing in my way.

So how am I going to fix it?

Well, for starters, I'm writing here in hopes that I will get some creative juices flowing, or at least trick this blank wall in my head into disappearing for a little bit. I think I've been so busy planning these last few chapters lately that I haven't left room for any of the magic that happens when letters become words and words become sentences and sentences become paragraphs, which eventually become chapters in a story.

Instead, I've broken everything down so methodically that I don't think I've left room for this magic. This person I've become the last few weeks doesn't even feel like me anymore. Sure I usually plan and organize and think about what it is going to happen. But I also let my imagination take over and change things; making them better than I ever could've planned for. I think I've gotten myself into a case of trying too hard when I just need to let the words and ideas flow naturally. 

Since I've found the problem I think I am going to prescribe some Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream, "Dust to Dust" by The Civil Wars on repeat, and some much needed time to let my creative stream flow without man-made prodding or interruption. I hope I can tear down the walls of my writer's block, and continue moving forward.

And in thinking about all of this, I can't help thinking about a book I just read, which deserves some mention here. I finally finished The Ocean At The End Of The Lane by Neil Gaiman, and I must say I am still thoroughly lost in the world he created. I remember Amy Hempel, a spectacular author, beginning her reading in NYC by sharing something she wished she'd written, and this new work Gaiman has given to the world is something  I wish I could've created. But alas, that story was not meant to find me. I was meant to find a different story, one which haunts me during the day and night, in the shower and the car and in class and at work. And this is the story I am determined to finish before summer. So I'll leave here with a quote from Neil Gaiman:
 

"Words save our lives, sometimes."